The Yellow Hair Machine

We did not get a dog. We got a hair machine.

I think my dad was the one who originally coined this expression as he also has a yellow Lab. But he also has a housecleaner who visits regularly and light tan tile throughout his house.

I, on the other hand, am the housecleaner. Earlier this year, I put rather dark wood flooring into my family room. It was cheap and it seemed like a good idea at the time. Now, five days into yellow lab ownership, there is a constant dusting of yellow fur on the floors.

To gain some control over this problem, I have instituted a nightly vacuuming ritual whereby I chase B with the hose and make a big game out of an otherwise mundane and all too frequent task. And, to no avail...I get up in the morning and am greeted to the site of fresh yellow hair. Everywhere.

This morning as I was in super high gear, getting us out the door at 8:00am for school and work, I had my first wardrobe malfunction that I can only blame on the dog. Black yoga pants, black shirt, black scarf...need I say more?

My best friend, K, would have the dog packed up and out the door by now. She really, really leaned on me to get a cat instead of a dog. Now I see why.

Don't get me wrong here...everyone (including me but maybe not K) loves our new dog. She doesn't beg, bite, lick, or bark. I'm not quite sure if she's all dog. She seems far too docile to be a one-year-old pup and way too well-behaved to be of the Labrador breed. But the hair...

I know I'll get used to the nightly vacuum-fest. And I can certainly carry those sticky dust rollers in my car, my purse, and my gym bag. But when the hair makes it into my dinner - like it did tonight - then I know that I'm really in this for the love of the animal.

I'm sensing that I'll be complaining about this issue for awhile. So tonight, I looked at my vacuum cleaner with quite a lot of gratitude. And amazement...who knew that a canister could be completely full after just one quick sweep of the floors?

Only a Lab owner.