Tonight, I'm Amber. Amber Shimmer.

Written on Friday afternoon, posted on Saturday:

I am either crazy or stupid. I colored my hair last night, at home. Again.

For those of you following my blog, this is Round 3 of self-administered hair color. Yes, my hair does grow very fast.

Only this time, I didn’t stop at the roots. Oh no. While slumming at the local Wal-Mart, I stopped into the hair color aisle to pick up another Root Touch-Up Kit with every intention of staying with the tried-and-true.

Allure Magazine just listed its beauty product picks for the year and of course that's like gospel to me. Among the hair color recommendations, they listed Clairol’s Natural Instincts line. The reviewer promised great results in less time and the best part? Semi-permanent color. That means no permanent damage unless you’re trying to take your hair color from Cher black to Marilyn Monroe blonde.

I got to thinking, "I need a little change. I'm feeling drab, drab, drab and Thanksgiving with my step-mother who just happens to be a great (and free!) colorist is way too far away."

I agonized for way too long over which color might be the best. I finally settled on a golden hue, with a great name: Amber Shimmer. “Amber” sounded so much more interesting than how I would currently describe my hair color which would be, “dull brown with some leftover highlights.” And who doesn’t want some shimmer in their life?

Upon further reflection of the product color, I began to think that “Amber Shimmer” would be a very fitting name for an adult entertainment artist (read: porn star). This girl next door could definitely use some of THAT appeal. Let’s face it: yoga pants and clogs are not exactly synonymous with a woman called “Amber Shimmer.”

The applicatoin process went off without a hitch. The only mistake I made was deciding to mop the bathroom floor before I applied color. If you’ve ever applied color to a full head of hair, you know that globs upon globs of dye are flung to the far reaches of the bathroom. I even found a suspicious stain near the toilet which made me wonder: “B’s mess or hair color?”

I’m pretty happy with the color. It’s even, the grays are covered, and there is a hint of shimmer. I’d definitely purchase this product again.

Tonight, me and my amber shimmer locks are meeting D for dinner. It’s our fourth date. We met over the summer, then I let him slip through my fingers so that I could date several superficial and somewhat stupid guys from the online dating service. Luckily, D is giving me another chance.

And the thing is, D is the type of guy who wouldn’t care if I was an Amber Shimmer type of girl or a tired, single, drab brunette mom. But, I have to admit, it’s kinda fun to try on a new identity once in a while. Especially when the cost is just $9.99!