Truth In (Dog) Advertising

I am learning, in my quest for a family dog, that people will tell you just about anything to get their pet adopted. Here are just some of the conversations I’ve had with dog owners this week:

Dog #1: “The Whiner”

Me: “Will your dog bark if someone comes to the door?”

Owner: “Yes.”

Me: "Good, because I’m looking for a protective dog. I’d like a dog that is on alert, at least at nighttime.

Owner: “Well, the dog won’t actually bark. She goes to the door and whines. But I’m sure that you can train her to bark.”

Dog #2: “I bite small children”

Me: “How is your dog with children?”

Owner: “Um. Um. Hmmmm. OK, I guess. Of course, I wouldn’t leave the dog alone with a child. He has been known to snap. But I’ve heard that if you take a dog to obedience school and also take the child along, that the dog can learn that the child isn’t his equal. I’m sure it will be fine. Really.”

Dog #3: “I’m an unhealthy mess and a huge financial liability.”

Me: “How healthy is your dog?”

Owner: “She’s been very healthy but she has a bit of a limp.”

Me: “A limp? How long has she had it? Have you had her leg looked at?”

Owner: “Oh yeah, we took her in. The vet said we should amputate. Sooner rather than later. But I’m sure that you don’t need to do that. She just probably needs some exercise.

Dog #4: “My dog is like a human.”

Imagine my surprise when I called today to inquire about this dog and the owner stated that she would have to interview me before she made a decision about whom to give her dog to. Here’s how the conversation went:

Me: “Hi, I’m calling about your dog. She sounds perfect. Why are you giving her away?”

Owner: “My mother-in-law moved in with us and she’s allergic. It’s breaking my heart to list the dog but I have to let her go.

Me: “Could I bring my son over tomorrow to meet her?”

Owner: “Yes, that would be fine but I have to tell you that I am very picky about who I will let her go to. I’m going to meet with several people over the next few days and make a decision after the weekend. I will have to spend some time with you and your son to see how you interact with her. It’s very important to me that she has a great home.”

Me: “Oh, there are other people looking at her? Well, I have a huge yard, I promise to walk her every day, I won’t leave her alone for longer than five hours at a time, I’ll buy high quality dog food, we’ll brush her all the time, she can sleep indoors, we’ll take her on car rides…”

Owner cuts me off: “I just need to meet you and your son.”

OK, well. Wish us luck. We’re off to the north reaches of Sacramento tomorrow (that would be Del Paso Heights for all you local readers) for our first doggy interview. And it’s a Craig’s List dog…maybe not all hope is lost for Craig’s List pets.