What Men Want, Or Better: Why I'm Still Single

This month's issue of KidAround had me completely captivated. And a little disgusted.

First, the good: There was a great article on "Sex and the Single Mama" with a caption that is so near-and-dear to me, that I had to post it as part of my navigation bar on my blog. Check it out.

Next, the editors provided a round-up of the hottest dads in the Sacramento region. Oh boy, are they HOT. The only problem, in my opinion, is that they are are super happily married which actually makes them even hotter, if that's even possible. The issue is worth picking up for the eye candy alone. One word: yum.

Now, the not-so-good. "Keeping the Ball and Chain Happy" was the title of one of the issue's articles. The writer provided laundry lists of what men want versus what women want. I think the title of the article alone is enough to cast a negative light on the subject matter. Anyway, I decided to provide the Men's list, just because I think that their requests (demands?) are much more unrealistic than the women's. When I read stuff like this, I'm glad, even momentarily, to be single and I think: "You gotta be effing kidding me." You be the judge:

What Men Want

1. For her to be in a good mood, inferred through her positive behaviors: smiles, laughter, warm tone of voice, etc.

2. For her to treat him like a hero. Giving praise, compliments, respect, admiration, being agreeable, acting sexy and flirty, deferring to him, and other acts to show he's desired and appreciated.

3. For her to do activities with him that he likes and for her to be a good sport about it. Think sex, camping, car shows, sports, video games.

4. For him to like and be proud of his woman's looks. For her to wear flattering clothing, keep hair, nails and make-up attractive, stay in good shape.

5. For him to be supported in having "guy time." Doing projects in the garage, playing video games, relaxing in silence, hanging out with the guys.

6. Good food and drink - and plenty of it.

7. Long, restful sleep - including naps- without guilt or remorse.

8. Other various stimulating or relaxing activities with minimal hassles.

Is it just me or have we gone back 40 years in time? Again, I could provide the women's list but it seems so trite in comparison. Really, is there anything that we want more than the trash taken out, the kids entertained occasionally and a little romantic and insightful conversation now and then? That's about what it amounts to, guys.