Friday, December 19, 2008

It's Official. I've LOST it.

I was invited to one measly holiday party this year. And it wasn't even technically a party as it took place from the hours of 3pm to 6pm and there weren't any "under 50s" invited, except for myself and a girlfriend. Nevertheless, I squeezed into my va-va-voom black pants and my once-a-year-fire-engine-red-sweater and made my way downtown.

Midway through the festivities and with two glasses of wine on board, imagine my surprise (and complete horror) when I looked down and saw THIS:

Nine West? Bandolino? Couldn't decide, so why not wear one of EACH?

Granted, I have a slight obsession with Mary Jane style shoes but you think I would have noticed the style of the toe (rounded or square), the size of the buckle (small or large), and certainly I would have noticed that I was standing much taller on the left side of my body and feeling rather lopsided from the moment I put my shoes on and dashed through the pouring rain.

This occurrence reminded me of a certain incident that happened downtown last year, in the same midtown area, but with far more alcohol and more people involved. I ended up coming home with my left black boot and my friend's right black boot. Since my parents read this blog, I can't go into the specifics, suffice to say that I haven't shown my face (or my shoes) on the midtown bar scene since.

Recalling Sunday's footwear fiasco to a friend, she empathized by saying, "You have a lot going on, J. Your mom could have cancer, it's the middle of the holiday season, your son is driving you crazy, you have a new dog, you haven't slept in days. You're just stressed. Very stressed."

To which, I replied, "Really??? Do ya think?!"

And then just to keep things interesting, I bought another pair of Mary Jane's. Black, of course, but with big red flowers around the buckle.


cryptoboy said...

No straight guy would notice. :-)

ShoppingShelley said...

When Janeen is on vacation later this week, I will be filling in on her Blog and let you know about the first shoe incident, ooohhhh!!

heartatpreschool said...

THAT is hilarious!

Also, totally agree with straight guy would notice that, even after you pointed it out.