Saturday, August 6, 2011

J Lo and My Girlfriends

Disegard formatting issues. Blogger doesn't like me today.

What does J Lo have in common with a handful of my girlfriends?

"She loved herself enough to walk away," People reports.

And several of my friends apparently feel the same way.

I'm talking about Jennifer Lopez's failed marriage, in case you're just crawling out from under a rock. I'm also referring to the unsettling number of marriages that have crumbled around me in these short summer months.

I believe I'm swimming in fairly safe waters here by mentioning the demise of these marriages. It's not like there are any big secrets that I'm sharing; only an influx in invitations for "GNO", otherwise known as "Girls Night Out."

Sadly, for my newly single friends, I'm more of a fan of "GNI" these days (Girls Night In") or "GMY" (Girls Morning Yoga) or "let's just do coffee or a pedicure."

At any rate, I can't help but be puzzled and alarmed by the divorce rate of my friends right now. And you know what they say: these are just the friends I know about; God only knows who is just one fight away from calling it quits. I hope it's no one. I seriously do.

Because divorce makes me sad. My own divorce nearly crushed me and I have tremendous empathy for anyone who is experiencing marital difficulties. It tears apart your whole psyche. Short of having a sick child, I don't think that there's anything worse.

I get asked for advice on this topic. A lot. Sometimes I give it; sometimes I don't.

But what I do say is this: "If you're asking for advice, particularly from someone who's already been married twice, I don't think you should strap on those 4-inch cage heels quite yet for "CGNO" (Crazy Girls Night Out).

My sage advice continues: "Cancel the table service at the Mix, stay home, cool your heels and think about how all this is really going to feel in a year. Two years. Five years. Then, let's have coffee tomorrow. Or a pedicure. After yoga, of course."

So far, the girls haven't canceled any of their wild nights. But I will say that I've had three pedicures in merely three weeks shameful, indeed and my own body is thanking me for all those weekend mornings of yoga
and no hangovers.

I don't know what's going on with my friends right now, but I sincerely hope it's a phase. Not only because I can't afford to have my toes painted every few days, but also, I think there's a lot of fight still in these marriages that are in question and even though J Lo walked away, it's not always the right thing to do. I'm always a fan of staying until the bitter end. Because you just never know.

It's hard to be a go-to girl on serious topics like marriage. I'm honored that I have the opportunity to listen, but I'll be glad when the tides turn a bit and when the trend skews back to: unique but not obscure baby names, "this Pottery Barn couch or that cute futon from Target" and "yellow Lab or Pug puppy" (Lab, always Lab!).

And in the meantime, there's Yoga In The Park, The Pedicure Lounge, more yoga at Padme and Whole Foods, my favorite coffee, people watching and post break-up place in town (the cookies make anything and everything seem better!).

1 comment:

Lish said...

I, also, have never been the swinging divorcee that people seem to expect me to be. I can't believe how many invitations I have had to go out and party all night, and I'm like, have you met me?

I don't like the idea of other people's divorces either. (At least not the ones who have what I think are happy marriages). It would bring back a lot of pain.

Fortunately, my friends either aren't divorcing or are single anyway.