Monday, January 5, 2009

D is for Divulging

Recently, actually, well before Christmas, I had my first blog meme assignment by "Heart At Preschool" She challenged me to write something about the letter D. I think the actual assignment was to come up with ten things I like that begin with the letter D but I'm going to tinker with that plan a bit and use the opportunity to share some really good dirt (at least I think it's pretty good) and an explanation as to why I've been so darned distracted lately. This whole post is a bit daunting and I've been more than a little freaked out by actually hitting the "Publish" key but here goes...

DEEP breath.

The short version is that I'm done with online dating. And all other forms of dating, at least for the time being. And not just because I'm taking a well-deserved break. I actually met someone via Match.

I'm not kidding myself. This could be very detrimental; this sharing of information. Certainly, it's one thing to dish on your love life with a handful of close family members and friends, but to write it down and share it with the whole world is just downright dicey. And a bit daring. Donchta think?

Fortunately, I think that the other person (let's call him "S") is on board and down with the idea.

Now for the details...

I was in the process of scrapping all my online dating subscriptions and being a little disillusioned with the whole dating scene when S's message appeared. He appeared to be different from the others in the way that he deftly crafted interesting and well-spoken correspondence.

We spoke on the phone, met for a drink and I knew I was ready to dive in.

Unfortunately, I had to leave for Palm Springs but we kept the communication going at rapid fire pace. We agreed, after hundreds of text messages and late night phone calls, that we were both heading in the same direction.

Since the relationship is so new, S still has a lot to discover about me.

In time, he'll figure out that I'm not as disciplined as I appear to be. He'll probably be surprised to learn that I don't like diamonds. And he may be appalled by the fact that I can go for days without washing my hair. But then again, he does know that I'm a yoga instructor, so there shouldn't be too much shock over the above description.

He will, at some point, find out that if I don't have enough Downward Facing Dogs (i.e. - yoga) in my week, that I can become pretty deranged. Then there's my little drug problem...I have enough sleeping pills in my medicine cabinet to knock out a small country. I think he already knows that I should probably drink more decaffeinated coffee, instead of the regular stuff.

Interestingly, S has already met my Dad and that didn't scare him off so he probably has a decent threshold for family dysfunction, I mean, dynamics. At some point, he'll probably encounter B's dad, which I hope is not a total disaster.

S will come to understand that just about any problems in my world can easily be solved by eating dark chocolate, drinking Frappuccinos and wine (preferably not at the same time), and having lots of discussion. My lifestyle will probably drive him crazy at times, as I read every food label for added dyes (read more about this on the "Luscious" blog), voice my opinions about dead animal consumption, and shun disgusting food choices.

He'll see the sides of me that value direction and decisiveness and my dislike of dissension and indifference.

More importantly, I think he'll very quickly realize that he's picked someone who's diverse, self-deprecating, not at all demanding, low on the drama, and very devoted, as my Google name suggests.

So 2009 is already looking to be different.

And I'm definitely depleted in the "D" word department. Did I miss any?

Thanks, HAP, for the challenge!


Steven said...

Hi Sleepless,

It's "S". I don't necessarily want to make our new "thang" too public, but hope you don't mind if I comment...

First, regarding whether you left out any "D" words - did you forget my last name already? :)

Second, your post led me to re-read what I wrote to you in that first e-mail - you know, my "deftly crafted correspondence" - LOL! I thought I'd share it here, unedited, with your readers. You know, to show people out there how regular guys land the hot chicks :)

*** my first note to "J" ***


I saw that you "viewed me" recently - of course with that beautiful face and smile of yours my mouse found its way to click on you pretty quickly :)

But what I found surprised me - how down to earth you are, how candid you are about being a parent (both how wonderful and challenging it is at the same time), how straightforward you are about relationships. Frankly, it's one of the best-written profiles I've seen; you're certainly more than just a pretty face.

Who knows what you thought when you viewed me - maybe it was "not gonna happen"! But I thought I'd write - hopefully you're a bit on the shy side and wait for men to make the first move. I hope you'll take a(nother) look - I'm sure you'll see that I have a very similar outlook on parenting as you, that's for sure.

And if nothing else, just know that I really enjoyed reading your profile. And while I agree with you that match is somewhat wacky, keep that faith of yours...


*** end note ***

To her readers - "J" is the real deal. My very first note to her was pretty much spot on, except that if anything I underestimated the quality of the person behind the words. Sorry everybody, but I have now officially become sleepless-in-sactown's #1 fan - line forms to the rear...

ShoppingShelley said...


Another "D" word!!

Kirsten / Mama Ginger Tree said...

Holy cow! Are we watching an on-line love story here! Delightful. You deserve a man who adores you.

bernthis said...

Jealous? Hell yeah. Happy for you? Even more so. Inspired by your experience? - you bet.

I'm so happy for you it's ridiculous.

heartatpreschool said...

LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this post!!! I'm thrilled that THIS is why it's taken you so long to write the "D" meme. :-) You were distracted by your own "Mr. D".

And since he's probably reading this too, "hi" from another one of sleepless' fans.

Hey, by the way, I gave you a little award on my blog. Check it out...

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Alisa said...

Hundreds of texts, indeed: your text message allocation has now been increased from 500 to 1500. (Happy belated Birthday!) You figured out what kind of battery you need yet for that cellfone o'yours?