Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Three Girls, Two Boys and One Seinfeld Moment

Three girls go into their favorite neighborhood bar on a Friday night.

Two of the girls are sisters. The sisters are both married. The third girl is not.

The girls sit at the bar and sip cocktails. Eventually, they have dinner.

The bartenders joke about "the great view at the end of the bar," referencing the two (gorgeous) sisters and, perhaps their single friend who the girls have dubbed "our cousin."

The girls are flattered by the attention.

Two guys walk in and sit kitty-corner to the girls. One is wearing a baseball cap (this is a critical piece of the story).

The single girl tells her friends that she has seen one of the guys in the bar before; in fact, she remembers him from last summer because he is tall and cute and he has a great smile. She is referring the guy without the baseball hat.

The married girls encourage the single girl to make eye contact. "Five seconds minimum!" they say.

But the single girl is somewhat shy in these types of scenarios and can't even muster up the courage to look over for one second.

Time passes and two of the girls have children to tuck in, so they settle up their tab and start to make their way toward the door (which is around the corner from the bar).

The girls notice that the guys are finishing their drinks and also paying the check.

The married girlfriends tell the single girl that the tall, cute guy has watched their single friend make her way out of the bar area. "He even turned around in his chair," they add.

The girls pause at the restroom and one goes inside while the other two brainstorm ideas for meeting the mystery guy.

It is decided that the most outgoing of the three girls will go back to the bar and ask the bartender what the story is on the tall, cute guy. The single girl does not volunteer herself for this task.

The two girls wait near the restroom for their courageous friend, and as they are waiting, the two guys emerge from the bar area together and leave the building.

The third girl then returns. "Yes, he's single," she confirms.

But the guys have already left so there's nothing to do except for button up coats, pull out umbrellas and leave.

As the girls are moving toward the exit door, the tall, cute guy runs back in.

The girls smile at him. He pauses for a moment and says, "Ummm, this is kind of awkward but the bartender told me that one of you is interested in my friend."

The girls look at each other in confusion. "The guy with the hat?" they ask.

"Yes," tall, cute guy confirms.

The girls can't contain their laughter.

Tall, cute guy doesn't understand.

The girls look at one another. Who is going to break the news?

The single girl steps up. "Wrong guy," she says.

Tall, cute guy looks around at the girls.

"Well, this is awkward," he says again.

The girls burst into more giggles, as tall, cute guy look begins to look more perplexed.

Finally, one of the girls makes an indication that the single girl is the one who is interested. Something is said about exchanging phone numbers but there isn't a pen or paper available, so single girl blushes eighteen shades of red and fumbles for a business card.

Tall, cute guy says goodnight and leaves the building, with the intent of breaking the news to his buddy that the single girl isn't in fact interested in him at all.

But that doesn't quite happen.

Two of the girls dash to the single girl's car in the pouring rain. Single girl turns on her car.

Both girls notice a guy running quickly to single girl's car. The guy is wearing a baseball hat.

The girls look at each other. What do do?

Being the ever pleasant girl that she is, single girl rolls down her window and says hello.

Baseball cap guy wastes no time. "The bartender said you are interested in me."

The girls look at each other. Married girl falls silent. It's all on the single girl.

Single girl starts with "don't take this the wrong way." She goes on to stammer about a small misunderstanding at the bar. She apologizes fifty-four times and wonders if this story will best be told in the beginning, middle or end of her forthcoming book on dating at 39.

As baseball cap guy walks away, deflated, single girl looks at her married girlfriend who apologizes profusely for not speaking up. She only has to say one word: "awkward" and the girls are regaled with laughter, again. Same story the next day when they exchange text messages with the subject of "awkward."

So what happens next? Single girl goes home with one of the married girls to have cookies and say hello to her children. She then goes home to read to her own child and slip him two cookies in bed. The other married girl picks up single girl for a yoga class in the morning. All the girls finish their weekends, respectively, and vow to go out again soon with their new "cousin." The Friday night story is re-told among their circles of friends and serves as good material for single girl's blog.



Briana said...

I am still laughing....Girl you have a great memory !!!!

Lish said...

Baseball cap will probably turn out to be your soulmate, and you will be telling this story at your 30th wedding anniversary.

Tom said...

Because of this story, I am now a fan!

I am a single dad that doesn't date, I too hate getting old and I am losing my house to B of A. I am an aspiring writer (emphasis on aspiring, as you can probably tell). I can't tell you how strange yet encouraging it is to read your blog and see such parallel experiences.

Rest assured, I am not a stalker, I'm only writing to encourage you to continue this blog and to let you know I admire your writing style.

Perhaps you remember this mystery man's name?

Janeen T, aka: Ben's Mommy said...

Briana, thank you, I remember too much sometimes!

Lish, LOL...you always see the bright side of every situation.

Tom, of course I remember the mystery man's name. Did you not see Briana's comment above???

Tom said...

I guess I'm showing my ignorance and my inability to remain anonymous. Truth is I've never read a Blog, let alone been a subject in one. I didn't realize my name would come up when I entered my email address. I'm guessing this is way to much to share in a comment to a blog but at least your friends will get a kick out of it.

Well now, lets see how good that memory is. Did you recognize me at Starbucks last Thursday?

Here is the rest of the story: That night at Luna was so awkward for me that I thought it best not to email or call. Instead I decided to look up the luscious-ness site and found your profile and situation to be eerily similar to mine, which of course drew me to this blog... Needless to say I was shocked to read your accurate and perfectly expressed description of events. I then thought I would be clever by commenting (another first for me).

Still blushing but looking forward to reading about your next adventure.

I've probably broken all kinds of rules to this Blog thing but hopefully your readers will enjoy, "the rest of the story"! You have my permission to copy and paste my comments. Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday (haven't figured out the exact date yet but I know it's close)
Your fan and admirer. Tom (no longer mystery man!)

existingwithintention said...

Oh, this is pure entertainment. Janeen, you get yourself into all kinds of situations. I’m gonna get some popcorn.


Lish said...

Wait. I'm not that quick on the uptake, but does this mean that Tom is baseball cap's friend? Oh, the devilish internet.

Janeen T, aka: Ben's Mommy said...

OK, OK... I'm glad I've provided all of you with great entertainment and a reason to check back in to this innocent little post that somehow feels really embarrassing all of a sudden.

First off, Tom...I'm sorry that you had to be introduced to my blog so abruptly with a post about you. Truly, no one ever finds this blog from my business card (that makes you the first!) and I wouldn't have written about that night had I thought you might have read it.

As for the comments, I don't moderate what people write so your comments are published pretty much instantly, much to the amusement of my single friends, Lish and Cab.

And no, I did not see you in Starbucks last Thursday because I wasn't in Starbucks last Thursday. Ironically, Thursday was the only day that I wasn't in Starbucks last week. Remember, I have that great memory! :-)

However, if you do see me in Starbucks (I frequent the Butano and Fair Oaks Ave locations especially in the afternoon), do say hello.