40th Birthday List: Item #1

I'm going to be 40 in December.

Damn.

My parents are going to have a 40-year-old daughter. Just seeing that in print is probably making my dad shudder.

Anyway, it's time to start thinking about what I want.

And just for the record, I don't want world peace, a solution to global warming or legalized marijuana (although a few "loaded" brownies might be nice to pass around at family gatherings). Just for the record, I'm also not looking to be the next 40-something female who has a crazy, biological clock and insane inclinations to have another child. I'm out - as in O-U-T - on that one.

Nope, someone else can use their birthday wish powers to make those things happen; I'm all about the material items that I know will make my life better.

So, hence, "the list."

First up is quarterly Botox injections.

Or Dysport injections. I don't really care what kind of poison goes into my forehead; I just want something beyond Oil of Olay to relax those deepening lines between eyes.

Just in case you're wondering, Botox (or Dysport) has to be injected regularly to maximize the benefit of the investment. But it is also an "approved" method of easing headaches and with some creative finesse of the Health Savings Account, injections could easily be categorized as necessary medical expenditures. Since I do have those nasty headaches.

Nice.

I'm all about full disclosure, so if you're completely disgusted by my 40th Birthday List and you're thinking, "what a materialistic, indulged brat," you may not want to be open the next post as it contains information about my specific wish for long and lustrous eyelashes.

Consider yourself warned.

And get the syringes ready!