Enlightenment is in the Air

Can't write much tonight. I'm 40 pages from the ending of "The Alchemist" and perhaps 40 minutes away from total enlightenment. I'm not even kidding.

So, this book's been an international bestseller forever and it's been published in dozens of languages. And just this year, it made it into my self-imposed pile of "Requisite Reading." Right behind "The Mommy Wars" and after all the mud-slinging THAT book, I felt like I needed a little soul cleansing (more on "The Wars" in a later post).

I'm down to the wire here on this lovely little book. The shepherd is in hot pursuit of his treasure. The omens on the vast desert are appearing right and left. God keeps popping up in the story in different personas. The universal messages are starting to crystallize.

The book has so much brilliance and wisdom that I think I'm going to have to go back and read it again. This is one Ben will read when he's a teenager. I might read it to him earlier.

Have to go now. The treasure is waiting. Whatever it is.

P.S. Alisa, the book jumped into my bag during our last visit! Don't know how that happened. But thanks, nonetheless!!

Rite of Passage

We went to Ben's Little League kick-off party last night.

God help me.

13 boys in one small Round Table room. 12 boys were older than Ben by a year. Boy energy pulsated through the building...rambunctious boy energy that is punctuated by impromptu jabs, tackles and kicks. Is this what first grade looks like? I'll say it again...

God help me.

We are in store for 2 practices each week (the practice field is just under an hour from my house in commute traffic!), one weekly game and several hours of parent volunteering. I tuned out after I heard the words: "everyone WILL work the concession stand!"

The list of gear alone was enough to make my brain go completely numb. I looked at Ben's dad. "You're on that. Right?!"

It's hard to say where Ben's excitement level is on the baseball spectrum. Particularly in a game where the coaches pitch and T-ball is "for the little kids."

When it comes to sports though, Ben continues to surprise me. Just last weekend, his dad took him skiing. I truly believed that he would hate it and to my shock, he loved it. L-O-V-E-D it to the point of asking incessantly when we can go.

So into the Little League season we go, where we'll join the hundreds of other area parents who turn out excitedly for Opening Day and then we'll come together several times each week to see what kind of talent our kids possess on the field and we'll sell a few hot dogs and sodas and then we'll look at our calendars and see that half our summers have slipped away. Did I mention that we have to sign a code of conduct? For parents? Not for the kids...

Oh yes, this is a whole new ballgame for us indeed.

Wish us luck. And see you all sometime in July. :-)

And The Award Goes To...

Finally, my hometown of Modesto, California has something worth celebrating. No, we haven't inched past being #298 on the "300 Best Places to Live" list but we do have a "local boy makes good" story. My classmate, Jeremy Renner, has been nominated for an Oscar for his role in "The Hurt Locker."

Modesto, in my opinion, hasn't had anything to celebrate since "American Graffiti." Certainly, it didn't help our fare city's ratings to have David Letterman mock our junior college while displaying an image of the school's marquee which read: "Congratulations to Acadamee Award Nominee, Jeremy Renner!" "What do you make of that?" Letterman asked Jeremy. "Don't they know how to SPELL in Modesto, California??!"

As for Jeremy, well, gosh, where do I start? I had the pleasure (?) of spending an evening with Jeremy and 100 of our classmates at the 20 year reunion for my graduating class this summer. Jeremy's attempts to be charming were sloppy, at best, perhaps from all the alcohol he was ingesting.

We chatted for awhile at the bar and then at my table. I asked him about life in Hollywood and what it was like to make movies. He was interrupted frequently and he bought a drink for everyone who stopped to say hello.

Ironically, Jeremy and I were the only "singles" at the reunion. So I guess it seemed natural to have the most conversation with him and he seemed game (and drunk enough) to play the "so what do you want out of life" game. Only his answers weren't very charming or precise and to be honest, I kept thinking that if I didn't know better, he could still be the short kid who worked the cosmetics counter at our local Macys. Really.

Still though, Jeremy is a super sweet guy who undoubtedly will go far in his Hollywood career.

And maybe at our next reunion, he'll have some deeper and more profound comments on Hollywood life. Or, he might bring an interesting date. Just last week, People.com reported that Charlize Theron was his newest love interest. In any event, I've heard that "The Hurt Locker" is pretty brilliant and that Jeremy's character is spot-on. I wish him all the best in the Oscar race this Sunday!

The Great Itallian Fall-Out

We went from jet lag to the hospital.

After two more sleepless nights after his dad's shift, Ben woke up with a 104+ fever on Sunday morning. Three hours of waiting in Urgent Care and the same diagnosis as last fall: bronchial infection with possibility of pneumonia.

Since Ben has already missed a LOT of school this year due to the first round of pneumonia and then for various trips with his dad, the doctor went straight for the hard core antibiotics, as in the five day treatment that knocks out everything quickly.

But there was still fun to be had! Especially at 2am, 3am, 4am and 5am. With a sweaty boy who can't breathe and a frustrated mom who desperately needs some sleep...

I downed a couple of cocktails on Sunday night while on a quick Mommy break. Bad idea. Guess who spent the entire day in bed on Monday? Call it extreme fatigue, exhaustion, stomach flu, and headache.

So where's my ex in all this? He is in Maui. That's right. One week in Italy, one week in Maui.

The ER doctor looked at me rather sternly and had the classic line: "Do you really think that Italy during the school year, during the winter - even - was a good idea?"

"No," I deadpanned. "But, his dad thought so."

You Don't Have to Travel to Europe to Have Jet Lag

Just co-habitate with a 6-year-old who spends one day on American soil before catapulting back into your home for 4am wake-ups.

Netflix on demand anyone? Melatonin? Kiddie Xanax?

I'm not surprised that this is happening but in the dark hours this morning, I was, admittedly, pretty frustrated. Frustrated enough to call my ex - at 4am - and demand that he take Ben for four nights to re-set his internal clock. I feel guilty sending Ben back a night early and Ben was disappointed when I told him. He let out a big, "awwwwww" and I said, "I'm sorry, little dude, but you are going to kill me."

I can't explain to him that the "cocktail" of sleep meds I take each night really doesn't allow for coherent and rational experiences at 4am. I can't explain to him that I am worthless at my job when I've been up for hours on end. I can't explain to him that this is his dad's damn fault and that it stupid to take a small child out of school for an international trip and expect everything to be "just fine" on the return.

We're going on 12 hours of being awake and Ben is melting on the half-hour. In fact, he's pushing 15 minute increments now. It's really not pretty.

His teacher confirmed at pick-up: "He is one tired boy."

We still have a report to finish - on Italy, of course - which entails at least two hours of sentence writing.

Oy vey.

Or as they say in Italy, "Buona fortuna" - or "good luck" to us!

Drinking It In.

Ben came home to me last night. At last.

He seems to be adjusting back to Pacific time just fine. 11 hours of sleep last night and judging from the way he slurred his words and rubbed his eyes at bedtime, we're probably looking at another long stretch of slumber. Hooray!

Today we had a very fun playdate with friends at a really fabulous park, followed by ice cream treats at McDonald's and more play.

He requested pizza and a movie for tonight. He can usually eat one half of a Papa Murphy's Delite Pizza in one sitting (yes, it is astonishing) but this evening, he petered out after a mere three slices and told me that the pizza isn't as good as what he had in Italy.

On the way to Italy, his dad let him watch "Home Alone" on the airplane. Interesting judgment call on that one. Needless to say, Ben demanded that it be turned off about 15 minutes in and his dad ordered up "Tinkerbell" instead. And my boy - who's all Hot Wheels and Monster Trucks and dirt and grime - loved it. In fact, it was his pick for tonight. The second showing did not disappoint. I decided - about 10 minutes in - that Tinkerbell is a great representation of tasteful glamor and femininity and that she is going to be my inspiration for next Halloween. But I doubt that I can get Ben to be Peter Pan.

Throughout the movie, Ben lay sprawled across me on the couch. It was complete and total sweetness. At one point he reached for my hand. I wanted to take a still frame on that moment. Make it last forever.

Tinkerbell will probably last all of two weeks; likely until some knuckle-head boy on the playground lets Ben in on the notion that Tinkerbell is "for girls." But I hope that this innocence lasts just a little bit longer.

I could spend so many more Saturday nights just like this one and not have one regret; only the feeling that my heart will crack open for all the love that I have for this boy.

That's Amore

I got my Valentine's call from Ben at 8:30am this morning. He had just eaten homemade raviolis for dinner and they had spent the day at a local carnivale. And this came through on email, right before the call:

Valentine's sentiments all the way from Italy. I can't think of a nicer way to start my day. It was all I needed.